oh whatever

2009-05-28T20:00:00.003+08:00

If I were to asked to wish for something which will come true ,
I wish that I'll die this very moment .

Lovable people , I'm withdrawing myself from blogs . So it means
that this is my last post .. I won't be creating a new blog . But if I
did , it's gonna be given to those who're loved , not necessarily that
I'll give to those who have the heart shape and exclaimation marks
on my blog . To those who want it , ask me personally ..

Hearts & Goodbyes ~

-sHd-

2009-05-27T21:54:00.004+08:00

HELLOH !~ :D

Okay , I'm gonna call it a day for today after this . Just read this , if you wanna ! :D

AL Spears ClarkdaunZ says:
oit?
AL Spears ClarkdaunZ says:
video aperr?
[ S H U D ] & F* Off ! says:
idk,the one u sent abt ms [insertword] vid ?
AL Spears ClarkdaunZ says:
ms [insertword]??
[ S H U D ] & Pissed .): says:
yeah ..
AL Spears ClarkdaunZ says:
maner aderr?
AL Spears ClarkdaunZ says:
bile sey/
[ S H U D ] & Pissed .): says:
idk , td ptg aku receive offline msg
AL Spears ClarkdaunZ says:
tdi ptg aku tk online pon..
[ S H U D ] & Pissed .): says:
idk..
[ S H U D ] & Pissed .): says:
u said smth like: View this ! A video on Ms [insertword]!!
[ S H U D ] & Pissed .): says:
with the youtube html on
AL Spears ClarkdaunZ says:
gosh i did not sey,tapi ader ker video dier??
[ S H U D ] & Pissed .): says:
idk.. naseb baik aku tk bukak td!..
[ S H U D ] & Pissed .): says:
may be a virus
AL Spears ClarkdaunZ says:
tapi tkkn ms [insertword] nyer namer aderr?
[ S H U D ] & Pissed .): says:
idk..
[ S H U D ] & Pissed .): says:
bwat bdh lahh ..
AL Spears ClarkdaunZ says:
EEE!!
[ S H U D ] & Pissed .): says:
haha
AL Spears ClarkdaunZ says:
skali dier dpt tau,ader video dier ker..
AL Spears ClarkdaunZ says:
aku yg kene lagi!!
AL Spears ClarkdaunZ says:
kau tk nk bukak tadi!
[ S H U D ] & Pissed .): says:
tk der lh .
[ S H U D ] & Pissed .): says:
kau giler !
[ S H U D ] & Pissed .): says:
kalau virus comp skola jgk yg mati, aku jgk yg kene !
AL Spears ClarkdaunZ says:
yah1
AL Spears ClarkdaunZ says:
biarkan,,
[ S H U D ] & Pissed .): says:
haha ..aper2 u said udk lahh .. Brani krana benar , takot krana salah !
AL Spears ClarkdaunZ says:
btol2
AL Spears ClarkdaunZ says:
tadi aper aku ckp uh?
AL Spears ClarkdaunZ says:
ms [insertword]??
AL Spears ClarkdaunZ says:
btol kerr?
[ S H U D ] & Pissed .): says:
IDK !!!! .. i have no idea ! aku tk bukak pon!
AL Spears ClarkdaunZ says:
aku nyer email eh??
[ S H U D ] & Pissed .): says:
tk der lah .. britney spears nye klon nye ..
AL Spears ClarkdaunZ says:
juraj ehk?
[ S H U D ] & Pissed .): says:
juraj ?
AL Spears ClarkdaunZ says:
tkder..
AL Spears ClarkdaunZ says:
tk bgos ungkit bende yg da lamerr
AL Spears ClarkdaunZ says:
buang yg jernih ambek yg keruh,ingat tu..
[ S H U D ] & Pissed .): says:
aku tk ungkit ..(:
[ S H U D ] & Pissed .): says:
and dahh .. thats why i end up like this !

I enjoyed talking to this guy ! :D Haha .. My another b!tch / kaki gerek !:D
OKay lovable peeps ,
I love you , goodbye & goodnites ~

SPECIALLY FOR YOU , BABY :

Izzati , I missed you . I loved you . (: haha
Bitching & Lesbian-ing , baby .. lol-ism .
Nitez , hugs , loves ,kisses ..

-sHd-

2009-05-25T15:56:00.004+08:00

People have fun without me .. People have an outing without me .. People call theirselves friends but then they neglect one another .. Gerek ka per ? ..
Bullshit people are not to be entertained . (:

Okay , I'm currently pissed with today's gipgnawsm's lesson . Yknow , she was mad at the whole class cause they we're Hooray-ing when she said that there's no lesson tmrw due to the course we'll be having . Just because of that , she wanna get mad and was blabbering .. Yadayadayada ..

She said that last [dotdotdot] she heard someone [insertword] at her when she stepped out of the class . Hah , helloh , we're not [insertword] -ing her , okay , maybe the class did but it's not for her . Terase ke pe skrg ni ?

She said that she's hurt , after almost 6 months she taught us , we still did this to her . Yknow , she even said that she know the class hates her . Hah , it's a big joke to me ! Cause yknow , we didn't hate her , we just hate the way she teach .
How can you learn when she's going too fast . When you asked her to slow down , she'll just say okay but still continue teaching so fast . Just because we're an Express class , that doesn't mean that everyone is a fast learner ! -.-
I'm not a fast learner .. I failed my maths , 13/100 last term ! Gerek kan ?! ..

There , another bullshit thing she did today is giving us a test .. & There's no re-test ! :D
How cool is that !? ..-.-
Seriously , I've not complete mine cause I've made a mistake . How can you give us a test when we're still unsure of that thing ? We've just studied it , and now's a test and there's no re-test .

I did a mistake to the whole test . So I asked her for another paper and the time , I have around 2 mins left . Yknow , she wasted my time , asking me if I've still got time blahblahblah .. then she's strolling , instead of brisk walking and it burned my 1 min ++. I'm left with another few seconds so I tried my best to do it . In fact , she should give me my 1 min ++ back but no . She told me she'll collect according to index no. from back to front .

Siak jer pe kan ?
Apart from the gipgnawsm's lesson , many people , who're lack of love , wanna fuck around .
One of it is this pathetic penis-less guy took my friend's pencil case and he was talking to his friends about I don't know what , suddenly he said he's gonna insert something to my [dotdotdot]. -.-
Oh fuck . A guy ? To a girl ? Where's your shame , man ? Or in fact , where's your shame , girl ?

Head's spinnin ' , knees trembling . I know what's gonna happen if I didn't control . So , not to ruin my coolness , I stared at her and she apologise and walked away . Nama jer ~~laki~~ , tp nmpk sah ~~konek~~ tk der .. -.- Ni lah laki yg Memalukan masyarakat melayu dan seluruh kaumnya .

Seriously , if she read my blog , I'm sure she's gonna report to someone about it . Oh go ahead dickhead ! Let see who's at the loosing side .. (:

-sHd-

2009-05-24T17:30:00.002+08:00

Helloh !~

Well , yesterday , instead of doing my homework , I went shopping with my mom and bro . I'm looking for this shirt which I saw few months ago so now I'm back with moneyhh to buy it . But then , it's out of stock . So yeah .. Bought some other shirt ..

Went to popular to buy a notebook and my pen , already busted . Bought a file for my dad and yeah , went to Sportlinks to buy soccer shoes for my bro . Hah , my bro , he joined soccer and I was LOL-ing when I saw him play . He's opponent is directly in front of him.. Why not he turn around and try to avoid him ? Instead , he dribble the ball towards his opponent and they got the ball and scored . -.-

Baik ka pe ? ..

I saw Mdm Rozana with her family . Her daughter is cute ! :D Heh , seriously . Went up to her and talk and then I wonder around to look for sneakers . After some time , met my mom and we ate at Burger King & I saw Mdm Rozana again ! :D haha ..

I haven't had my breakfast and lunch cause I'm too lazy to get my arse off the floor and cook something . So starved myself and ate at 6.45 pm .. haha .. Gerek kapaa ? :D

&& Now , I'm officially broke .. Haha , bought so many things yesterday .

June hols , I'm not sure if I can go out cause my money is not enough .. ):

Peeps , I'm sorry ..

Goodbyes ~

-sHd-

2009-05-23T11:44:00.002+08:00

Happy Belated B'dae to Izzul ! :D
Haha , sorry I'm late ,bdk ! :D

Okay , kinda bored right now and currently frustrated with my bro ! Whatever ...
Gosh , I've gotta complete this compt research by today .
Many things need to be completed before Monday .

Need to finish up my bro's colouring compt .
Need to complete my designs for a fashion design compt .
Need to complete my The Wedding Nightmare thingy (s) .
Need to complete this school's inter-class poster design compt .
Need to complete gipgnawsm's homeworks .

Gosh , many things need to be completed . Plus my bro's friend is coming over in
2 hours time , need to clean up the house and HE expect me to do it ! -.-
-sHd-

2009-05-22T16:04:00.008+08:00

Aku mengimbas

Kenangan demi kenangan

Lalu ku cari

Di manakah silapnya

Sehinggakan kita terputus

Sebuah percintaan ?

Aku mencari sinar harapan

Tapi yang ku terima adalah

Sebuah kekecewaan .

Di manakah silapnya ?

Di manakah cinta kita ?

Apakah ini akhirnya

Sebuah kisah

Percintaan kita ?

~~& I guess the answer is ' YES '~~

~~It hurts , but you're not worth it .~~

I'm sorry , Goodbye ~

220509 -

OKay , today's sucks . I know , You know . HAH , whatever . Officially off with him for messing around . Not trying to be immature here but what will you feel if a guy confess his feelings for you and then he's off with someone else ? What if he asked you out but he neglected you ? Is this the typical guy I should respect and give my love to ? Might as well I kept it for myself .. -.-

It hurts , yes it does .

Our relationship has been up and down since few months past , yeah , I've never told you guys . We almost reach 6 months , this 280609 , BUT guess what , this is what happened ! I've never expect this from you , ~~Mr Hawt~~ .

Oh gosh , .. Okay , yknow what , let's forget about this MR HAWT but let's talk about this one Mr 'Panas' .. Gosh , serious , he's totally 'panas' ..

The great thing is that I HAVE HIS PICTURES ! :D

No no , i didn't stole it , my bro take it for me !:D Place it on the fridge summooorreee !! ... :D

Hah , okehh , I'm going out for shopping ! :D Goodbye ~

** Officially giler sekarang , ;) *

-sHd-

2009-05-21T21:00:00.002+08:00

Okay , today obviously sucks !
Cried in school and yeah , couldn't stop myself .
Everything happen so fast that I couldn't manage to stop it .
Just don't asked ...

Well , laugh like mad when I reached home . Dad is crapping today and yeah , we're eating chocolates that we bought on Mother's Day ! xD
Just how long is that ?!

Had my Live Chat with David from Portugal . He's kinda great & he's 21 ! He's currently in a kind of tourism school thingy & had to study for 3 years then he'll look for job !
Dah tua krepot baru nk kawin perh ? LOL! xD

Okay , the Pinggang GUDUGUDUGUDUUSH Girl didn't wanna look at me today . She didn't even wanna talk .. Hah ! Dah kene kutuk baru nk sedar diri per girl ? LOL ! Dah lame tk buat keje gini kan ? That's why I miss my P6 life where I get to enjoy life to the max !:D

Hah , I guess that's it . Kinda bored right now . Parent's not working , so gotta act good today .. ;) Heh , JUST today ! :D

-sHd-

2009-05-20T17:45:00.002+08:00

NEVER TRY TO CONVINCE ME TO TRUST YOUR WORDS , MISTER . (:
I'm happy with the way I am , with the way I look .. So you , have no right to touch or enter my life anymore , starting from today , this day , this time ...
Goodbye ~

Okay , school sucks today . Math teacher is like pissing me off . First , she asked me to stand cause I didn't do my homework , that's fine . Second , she asked me to do it , still fine . Third , she asked me to redo it cause there's a slight mistake in the marking , okayy .. Fourth , she told me to REDO it AGAIN cause there's no axis & stuff , getting irritated . Fifth , she told me there's no subject and shittos , already pissed . Sixth , she's like trying to say I didn't concentrate in her class , that point of time , DAMN PISSED !

You see , I won't get fucked up if she would just tell me once of what is missing and wrong then I'm fine to do it again ! I can't follow what she's teaching cause she's talking too fast . She keep on telling me stuff and when idk , she told me 'go and find out from your friends' . Excuse me , Miss . My parents doesn't pay the school fees for me to 'go find out from your friends' shits . So watched what you said .

Art is replaced with PW . -.-
Gosh , I was dying to get my results back ! And talking about results , I passed my HOME ECONS , the subject which makes me sleep all the time . (: Wohoo ! :D But still , can't manage to get A1 .. But still fine cause I get A2 ! ;)

To this 2 particulars immature kiddos , who threw mine and Sha's bag and who UNZIP my skirt , you , boy , are cursed for the REST OF YOUR LIFE until you came and APOLOGISE , ASSHOLE ! -.-
& Please , so what if a girl's ass is big ? Are you jealous ? Now , you can insults girls with big ass but then , don't regret when one day you have a wife and kids who's asses are big ! (:
Don't come and scold any kiddos who insults them yeah cause WHAT GOES AROUND , COMES AROUND . (:

Now , you're just to dumb to understand a mature girl's words . Take your time , bastard cause one day , you'll realize it ON YOUR SWEET FUCKING OWN ! (:

-sHd-

2009-05-19T16:25:00.002+08:00

HELLOH !~
Oh gosh .. Life's getting better .
cDah babe .. Chill okayy ?
We're here ! :D
Jgn pandang blakang & jgn tegor . Nanti hidup kau
akan sengsara ... o.0
HEH ! xD Tk der link sehh ! xD

Okehh , Mr Hafiz is a part of May Babies too ! :D
HOHO ! Same zodiac sign with me summoorreee! Ugghh ,
kepo jer .. -.- LOL! xD

Okehh .. Anw , i've been wanting to post about this thingy .

Huh .. I've seen a Tarantula Spider before , in Malaysia . What I know , there's
no Tar.S in Malaysia ... In fact , in Asia ! But oh well .. Idk .. Seen it in the
bathroom at my grandparent's house in Malaysia . Fuhh , it's big !
DAMN BIG ! o.0
HAH .. OKehh .. my wish is fulfilled ! ;)

&& Yeah , to this particular GIRL who LOVES to talk bad things
about others .. Read this yeahh , it's dedicated to you...

You don't have to talk bad things about me . Take a good hard look at yourself first before talking about me ! I do admit that I LOVES TO EAT ! Yeah , I eat alot ! :D I'm proud of it cause I can make sure I get all the nutrients I need .. Except for the fact that I've received more than enough which result to me being fat ! YEAH , FATASS !!!!!! haha .. BUt hey ..
.. Tk perh , aku mlayu . MAri bual mlayu kayy ?

Kayy ..
1. Aku gemok , so what ?.. :D
2. Aku suka makan , so what ? :D
3. Aku nye hobby memang makan , so what ? .. :D
4 . Aku memang bnyk makan , so what? :D
5 . AKU TAK MALU KALAU AKU MAKAN BANYAKK KAT PUBLIC .. :D Perut aku jer perh , aper kau kesahh kan ? Susah kan kau perh sekarang ? Mak Bapak aku tk bising , asl lak kau nk sebok2 ni ?

Sekurang - kurangnya , aku tk gedebab cam kau .. :D Cermin diri dulu sebelum mengata orang ehk ? At least orang tau yang aku banyak makan .. Dari kau ? Starve yourself and then baru nk makan kat rumah ? ..
HAHA ! xD Enjoy the free food darla .. :)

&& Babe , I'll give you the respect you deserve IF you dare to insult me right in the face ! :D
Aku akan respect kau atas bawahh kay ? ..

Dah , py maen jauh2 saner . Jgn ganggu aku . Kau pergi lah sembunyi kan diri kau dari the facts ehk ? .. Gy lahh .. haha .. xD
Pompan cam kau ni .. Fuhh , MEMALUKAN MASYARAKAT POMPAN ARH ! :)
Fine ladies doesn't talk behind some other girl's back .
Get this into your thick bloody head .. :)

-sHd-

2009-05-18T17:56:00.002+08:00

For my babe Lala ,
Thank you for the prezzie you gave me just now ! :D
It's so cool ! :D Thanks Alot Babe ! :D
I <3 U ! ;)

Another thing is that , I improved my studies ! :D
Last term , I failed my maths and get 13/100 .
Now , I get 48/100 ! :D Wohoo !! But still not happy that I
didn't passed and failed by 2 marks !

English , I failed my 5 marks ! ):
Goshh ...

&& Finally , first time in history , SHuD has just passed
her history subject ! :D
Even though the marks is just at the border line
-Marks cukop2 mkn jer .. ;)
I'm still happy with it! :D

& Yeah , Passed my lit guided essay paper ! ;) Wohooo !!!...

Lesson is kinda okay today . Mr Hafiz didn't come cause he
have to go for excursion with a Sec 3 class . Gosh , if he's here,
I'll definately get my results today ! ):
In Lit , everything is very cool & I just know that Ms D's b'dae
is on May too ! :D Haha !... May babies huh ? .. LOL !

Okay , wrote a poem today cause she asked the class to . So yeah .
At first she didn't say anything about the topics but then idk who asked
and she gave us the title . Make about SLEEP & Spongebob ! :D

Okayy , about sleep , mine is crappy .. ;) About spongebob , I wrote

Nice & Fixed

Cute & Squishy

Short & Cuddly

Yellow & Hot

That's you , Spongebob !

Yeah , I do find Spongebob very hawt ! ;)

& i'VE wrote something else too ! :

Staring at the stars

Looking at the moon

When words are unspoken

Love remains unknown

I wish you know

I hope you do

But all came crashing down

When she's gone with you

Now she left

And here you are

You came to me

And say 'I love you'

You left me in dilemma

Oh yes , you do .

You've never know how it felt

Till you're shove in the face

All left are just goodbyes

A plain goodbyes

From me

To you ..

Just break up , oh goshh .. Sigh . :'(

But I'm fine . :) He's not worth my tears . :)

So , overall , I think today is okay ! :D Good ! :D

&& What they say is true . If that's how you 'decorate' yourself,

then that's how your life will be ! (:

-sHd-

To Dearest May Bbys

2009-05-17T18:32:00.004+08:00

Everyday Just Naturally

Bring Special Thought Of You

And Every Thought

Brings With It

The Warmest Wishes Too !

Happy Birthday to all May Babies ! :D

Specially ... ,

Happy Belated 14th Birthday to Natyqa ! :D
Happy 14th Birthday to Shekyn ! :D
Happy 14th Birthday in advance to Izzul ! :D

Dearest people/friends
whose birthday in on May ,
Happy Birthday (advance/belated) to you guys too !

Okay ,
Typical boyfriends huh ? Whatever , not gonna waste anymore tears
on you . Goodbye and congratulations . You've made me hate you !
Thank You . I'd rather love my life , friends and family then to love you .

-sHd-

2009-05-16T16:46:00.002+08:00

Okay , posting this as fast as possible .

I just hang around here for a while to kill my boredom and check on my usual stuff . So yeah . &
Thanks to :

Shekyn
Sha
Mei Li
Reshma
My usual bbys (UC peeps)
Acah
NurFa
Renu
Izzati
Nad
Howie
Zurah
Faizal

For the b'dae wishes ! :D I hearts you guys too & never forget that ! :D & Also , thanks for always being there and remembering my day.. ;)

Okeh , goodbye loves ~

-sHd-

2009-05-15T16:20:00.002+08:00

WOHOO ! :D
Officially 14 today ! :D Thanks to him for the gifts , wishes and celebrating my day today ! :D
Okay .. I only received this Be My Love from Mr Hawt . Hah , just one ... ;)
My Usual Members sings Birthday Song during recess time and I was okay , shocked , touched , embarrassed . :D But guys , you're the best ! :D Thanks ! :D

At 12 am , my aunt sent me a b'dae wish SMS & Renu sent me a b'dae wish SMS at 5++ am.. :D How great ! :D
My Dad & Bro wished me Happy 14th Bdae just an hour ago . Mei Li wished me Happy 14th B'dae more than once !:D

I've told you , I'll be glad to die today . (:
-sHd-

2009-05-14T15:12:00.005+08:00

Oh yes ! :D
End of misery !
Now , say helloh to Lovely 14 .... !!! :D
Ahh , okay , crap .

Well , yknow , I wanted to fall asleep just now and in my mind , I was hoping that I'll die on 1505 .. , So 1505 , it's gonna be my birth date and death date . How cool is that ? :D
I'm gonna be the happiest girl on earth if I died on that day .. ;)

Yes , lmao cause that kiddo have finally stop harassing me when she read my blog yesterday . LOL! xD No offence yer budak , kau ni , kencing lom straight da nak bual taik ngan aku . Fikir klakar perh ? Sorry arh , joke tak menjadi .
DAHH ... Gy main jauh2 saner ...

Okay , quarrel with my dad after school . Hah , don't need to tell . It's my mistake and he keep on blabbering , blah blah blah , and so I said that if he think that I don't have common sense then why not he do everything alone and don't ask for my help .. Then he was scolding me blah blah blah , I walked away and I almost said something which will make the whole situation looks bad .. Gosh , seems kinda depressed these days .

Oh yeah , I miss my Mr Hawt due to exams ! ):
Online soon baby ..

-sHd-

2009-05-13T10:40:00.002+08:00

I'm tired lahh minah ! ...
Kau pe sal ?

You don't have to harrass me about him .
Want him ? Got get it then , doggy !
I'm tired of this shits .
Seriously .. !

If you think you're a woman , don't harrass me then ! Meet
and talk , then I'll give you the respect you deserve !

You've bitched about your friend ! YOUR OWN 2 YEARS FRIEND !
In fact , your best friend ! C'mmon girl , get a heart of your
own and start realizing now before it's too late ...

& Yeah , we're together now ! Happy ?
Since 280409 ! :D
I bet you are cause I'm sure that you know 'if you love someone ,
you don't have to be with them . Instead you have to
sacrifice for his happiness' .. I've told you this , haven't I ? :D
Thanks yer bitch ! :D
LOL !

Yessah yessah yessah ! :D
I love him ..
Go and spread rumours now !
Cause that's what bitch do right , Bitch ?

-sHd-

2009-05-12T22:22:00.003+08:00

Math paper tomorrow ?
I'm gonna die , that's for sure ..

Okay , can't manage to fulfill my P6's promises ,
of being invisible for a day and not talking to anyone ..
I've been acting real weird , haven't I ?
Guess they've made me pushed to my limits ..
Congrats kiddo , it'll never end .

Today's history and science . Great , my science paper ,
I don't even have a clue about the ions thingy .. Mainly
on the Atoms and Molecules . History , yeah , gave me some
basic knowledge cause Sha manage to go through some stuff
with me , even though I didn't really get her , but whatever , I
only hear the important stuff . ;)

Okay , whatever to those two . I'm not gonna help cause yknow ,
both of you deserve this ! I'm really greatful that this happen .
He's cheating on his girlf and you , flirt behind your boyf .
Yessaa , congrats on your life . Whatever happen , don't need to
tell me . If you really want to solve this prob , answer my qn ..
Who do you love ? Him or your boyf ? You don't have to bitch
behind him .. If you're stuck in between , I suggest that you just
break up cause no point of being IAR if you're unsure .
You're IAR cause you love him , but if you're unsure , it means
that you're just faking . Realize this before people calls you
[somethingsomething] . Be the first to realize ...

You're my friend , he's my friend too . Just be true to yourself
guys . Good luck yeah ?

Okay , nitez . I'm bored & feeling sick .

-sHd-

2009-05-11T13:06:00.001+08:00

Readers ,

Just pretend that I never exist on 12 May 09 .

Don't talk to me on that day ..

Please & Thank You . (:

-sHd-

2009-05-09T13:43:00.005+08:00

Shud-ohwhatever . bs

presents to you ..

Sigh . I guess I'm the only one who is left out huh ?
I'm just the only one who is left to wonder around . Yeah , first it was family & now it's friends .
When will I ever get to fit in ?

People moved their blogs but I didn't even know that . Yeah , what you see and read in my blog doesn't really reflect on how my life goes .
For almost 2 years ,
I've lived without someone .
Everyone in my family had 'partners' and it's just me who's alone . All my friends have their friend , bestfriend , closest buddy with them and I'm left out .
All I ever wanted is to be part of someone .
I want a friend , that's enough for me .
I don't mind if I don't have a best friend .. I just need a friend .

It's like 2 years of loneliness and left to wonder around with strangers .

How's that feel ?
2 years of swollowing the pain on my own .
2 year of silence .
When will it ever end ?

You don't come and tell me that I'm just being sensitive and pathetic . I've tried understanding people and life . I've tried ignoring my feelings for a week & it's killing me . I've tried .. not respecting myself and let people do the stuff I hate towards me . Not for few weeks , but for few months . Now I'm back .
Rather calm and relax .

I'm back to face my own reality . Face the fact that I've gotta move on and stand up on my own if I'm down . Unlike you guys who have your friends and families with you ..

I regard you guys as a friend , but not the friend I'm looking for cause you guys are just staying with me for few minutes and will walk away . Friends that I know doesn't do that .
I can help you with your problems .
I'm willing to help you guys ..
I'm willing to help you guys get what you want ..
I seriously do .

But have you guys ever thought of something ?
Something which I really need ?
Think of it .

The reason why I've changed is a lot , it's not just one . There's many of it . People whom I used to regard as bestest friend changed and ended up leaving me behind . People whom I used to regard as close buddy is now gone . I don't have idea where he went . He didn't even leave a mail/messages or calls . It's been a year .
People whom I regard as friends , neglect me .
People whom I used to regard as love , gone , for years ...
People whom I used to trust , ended up spreading rumours about me ..
When will this ever stop ?

The reason why I hated the word _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ & F_ _ _ _ _ is a lot . People just don't stick to their words . They end up blaming each other cause yeah , it's a whole lot easier to push the blame to others . And who's the victim ? Me . Because of you , I suffered , 2 years !

I created a blog , to share my probs with who ever who's willing to listen . But if you guys are here , just to make fun of me , go ahead . I'm tired of stopping .
What goes around , comes around .
What you did to me , will happen to you too ..

-sHd-

2009-05-08T21:24:00.003+08:00

ART IS COMPLETED ! :D

Like I said , she's gonna be my FIRST VICTIM if I failed my art !
You babe ,
watch out !

-sHd-

2009-05-07T18:25:00.003+08:00

280409 , is still fresh in my memory .

Gosh , hard isn't it ? Yeah , I know . (:
But whatever , sooner or later , things will change ..

Came to think of it , I missed you , badly somemoreee .. ):
Be happy yeah , that's all I want !
Apart from I missed you , I still love you . (:

Okay , art , is like freakin' hell. No , wait . It's the teacher . She's making all of us confused . Apa sia dier nk buat .. ? If I can't take art for next year , she's my first victim to get blamed !
Yknow , she tell everyone different things !

She tell Reshma different thing .. Wayyy different than what she tell me ! She tell the class differently ! She tell Lala and all my other friends other thing .. Apa siaa .. ?
Seriously , shit ~

Okay , today , Izzul giler , giler dari giler . Haha ..
Tapi lagi rabak dari giler ! :D
He called Sha '....' LOL ! xD
Oh yeah , have to censored it .. It's a secret ! :D
LOL!

"Shud , aku nak cakap ngan kau ... "
I just gave him a signal of 'what'.
"Aku ader secret nak share ngan kau ... "
I was like , 'hmm ...' and signal him one more time ..
"Kat rumah aku ader pinggan . "
LOL ! xD
I was pretending not to care cause I notice Ms Yuen is staring at me . Haha , part-time step baik . (:

lol , seriously , today is gerek ! :D && Hanging out with Aliff is gerek too ! :D
** Babe , jgn jealous yeah ? You're still my no . 1 Kaki Gerek ! :D & NOthing can change the fact !*

-sHd-

2009-05-06T20:01:00.003+08:00

Seriously ,
Comp mintak kene siak ! ..

Yknow , nowadays technology know how to fool around with us !..
And I notice that this is not the first time !...

It's like , I think 5 times ? At first , it's about the Internet connection . I'm not using wireless and then suddenly there's no connection . I tried refreshing all the Internet connections but this can't . So I called the Starhub thingy and then suddenly , I can surf the net .
The same thing happen just now .
Fuck sia prangai .

The washer machine can't switch on even though we've tried pluggin' in the wire directly . There's the power sound but can't it can't work , as if there's no power . A man came , he tried to repair . Before he could , the washer machine can work . -.-

Seriously , I think one day people will get mad due to technology ...
Whatever , ..

Anw , today , I stared at this guy . Hah , instead of challenging Izzul who can stare longer , I decided to stare this guy who seriously need a jab in his nut . I was walking with my bro , his friends was riding a bicycle next to me so I move aside and he cycle his damn bike behind me and suddenly goes 'Aiyoyo..' I was like , 'tk perlu nk step india ngan aku kay ?..' So I turned around and stare him . WTH , his voice is kinda deep but he's just a little boy .. Hah !
Like a P6 age . I was like , damn ...

I stared at him and I see that his eye , the black thingy , what do we call that ? Is it pupil or smth ? .. Whatever . That black thingy in his eye , it seem small then before .. I mean before he said 'aiyoyo ' .

He moved aside without me saying it . LOL !:D Yknow , the coolest thing of staring people deep in their eye is when they look away or the black thingy 'shrinks' , you'll sense victory ! :D
Just like what I felt when I challenged this staring thingy with Izzul ! :D
HAHA ! :D

At 2pm , I walked to the shop just in front of PSS with my lil'bro . I saw him and his friends . He's like signalling his friends and all stared at me . I think there's 6 guys , staring at me . Gosh , makes me shivers like mad . But I forced myself to stare at one of them and he looked away . When he looked away , all them did the same . LOL ! xD
Korangnye joke buat klakar giler2 ! :D
Tp malangnye , tk menjadi ! :D
Nk step ber-gang ngan aku , buat klakar perh ?
Bukannye aku nk step minah kat sini but seriously , mess with someone your own size people .. (:
**No offence !

Wohoo ! !:D
Victory is mine ! :D

-sHd-

2009-05-05T19:05:00.002+08:00

Helloh !~
:D

I still have 10 more days till 15o509 ! :D
&& I wanna wish all the May Babies Happy Birthday ! :D
Who ever you are , if you're birth date is on May , happy b'dae !:D

Well , currently doing my art prep work for the exam & damn , I'm slacking ! The colors .. It's all upside-down !.. xD
&&& my drawing suck !:D

Whatever , I'm still sticking on to my decision of choosing art next year ! :D Wohoo !!!:D....

Gosh , I'm back to crapping again , cause

I'm bored
I'm tired of doing the art prep work
I've got no one to talk to
I'm distacting myself ! :D

Yknow , I suddenly gave up on the 'poetic' stuff which I usually do cause ... Hah , you don't wanna know , cause if you do , you'll LYAO .. :D

It's stupid , really .

Okay , I'm out of ideas of what to post . I'm bored . None of my budds online , even if they are , they're busy or probably watching tv .

Haizz ... Uhh yer lah , Aku jalan pon baik . (:

-sHd-

2009-05-02T19:24:00.003+08:00

Oh HEY ! :D

Well , been so long since I last update . Oh well , I'm here now ! :D
Comp is just repaired cause there's like idk how many viruses .. ?
REVETAHW ~ :D
-Yeah , read that people !:D

Okay , yesterday , I cried my heart out . Well , woke up at 7.30 am cause I had the worst nightmare ever ! Haha .. Well , dreamt that Akmal died , ..

Well , our class go for an outing at the beach . I hang out with him and his friends . Then they went for a swim . They go but I just sat somewhere near the shade . All his friends swam back and it's only him , who go but never come back .

I asked them , they say that they didn't saw him . Then all of us went to look for him . After such a long time , someone took a boat and look out for him . They found him , far away .. With no heartbeat and his face looks pale . I was speechless ..

I woke up and I'm still crying . I was shocked ! Haha ...
But glad it's just a dream ... (:

Today , I'm going out with my family late at night later ... Well , cause my parent's not working tomorrow .. & I'm gonna miss the comp !
Gosh , it's been like few days since I last online ! :D

&& People, I do miss talking to you ! ):

-sHd-

2009-04-28T16:29:00.002+08:00

Firstly,
Millions apologies to people who're offended with me with what I've said to you lately . I don't know what's going on but I'm lost within myself. I still have this confusion with my life and I've got stuff to do . Plus , I'm stressed with the upcoming exams ! So , I apologies okay ?
And to those people who sent me forwarded messages , I'm sorry but you have to know that I hate forwarded message and chain mails . All this while I may seem to love it but actually I'm not . Babe , I still owe you an apology for forgetting our meet up .
And to whoever , I owe you guys an apology for not treating you nicely ..

Secondly ,
I think I'm gonna delete this blog and all the blogs I've owned . I have no time to update nowadays.

Thirdly ,
I think I wanna create tagged .. So people , do add me up yeah ! :D

Forthly ,
GoodBye ~

-sHd-

2009-04-24T15:34:00.002+08:00

Hah , again , I'm pissed. But when come to think of it , why waste my time pissing off when I know I'm loved by the others ?

Yeah , my used-to-be crush changed. Alot than ever !
Yeah , probably don't understand a word I said right ? Oh , whatever .
It's better to save my breath for something else .
Right people ? :D

I'm seriously feeling sorry for her .
Chill beb , why waste time on him .. He doesn't worth anything , not even your life ! :D
Cheer up yehh ?

Okay , back with Wan again . Thank for always being there . Haha , yeah , feel guilty ..
A million reasons to it . (:

Currently trying to find ideas for my usual stuff but hah , I'm all out . So yeah , wasting my time here blogging on shits .

And I'm all left with 21 days to wait ! :D
May babies , let's celebrate our day together yeah ? :D

Okay , let's get on with today .
Reshma is really nice . Sent me home today .. haha . xD
-It sound so wrong.. xD-

Well, I think yesterday is also the same but not like today . Today, Reshma really went to my void deck and sent me back , yesterday , just till Gek Poh cause I wanna print pictures for art. Yeah , menyusahkan ! :X

Today was scolded with Mrs Chang for not having my science notes. It's actually inside my file ! I've filed it in ! xD LOL!
DumbAss..

She told me to do the filing after school but then I managed to find my stuff.. Hah ..
&& I PASSED MY SCIENCE !

First time in history ,
NS 'Shud' have just passed her science exam for more than once.
Let's give her round of applause .

HAHA ! xD
Kesian aku , bobual sorang lagi .. xD

Okay peeps, I've just created Facebook , do add me up ! :D
And yeah , GoodBye ~

-sHd-

2009-04-23T16:31:00.002+08:00

Pissed , of course.
Oh whatever.

Anw, I didn't do my usual things today , gotta stop it . But I did write it yesterday , I guess . Ahh .. Whatever.

If you wanna read , do tell me, I'll either post it up here or send it to you personally . :D

Actually, I've got nothing to say . Oh wait. Maybe I do . Uhh .. Yeah , once again , I'm placing 'all this' behind my back and this time, I won't turn around, no matter what ! Hah, & yeah , Budak, I don't need you in my life. I'm better off without you or anyone else .. :D

Leaving this dumb world is really really gonna brighten up my days and yeah , I'm still sticking to my decision that I wanna be the 12-year-old me again ! :D
Wohoo!! xDD

&& 22 more days to mine ! :D

Okay , b'dae wishes :

Okay, let's say out the simple wishes first okay ?

-I want chocolates ! :D
-I want new shoes !
-I want new phone !
-I want MCR shirt !
-I want MCR albums , all of 'em ! :D
-I want to pierce my ear , one more time ! :D

Now, the one that came from the bottom of my heart . :D

-I wanna meet

My Chemical Romance
Bunkface
Paramore
Avenged Sevenfold
Didi Cazli
Simple Plan
Linkin Park
Adam Sandler
Leathermouth

-The one I'm dying to meet

Frank Iero ! :D
ZV and Syn .
Bunkface , all of 'em ! :D
DIDI CAZLI ! :D
David Desrosiers ! :D
Linkin Park , all of 'em ! :D
ADAM SANDLER ! :D
LEATHERMOUTH !! :D

If any of you guys could make this into a reality , oh gosh, I'm telling , this gonna be the best DAY EVER ! ! :D

Haha .. xD And yeah ,
that previous b'dae wish of mine, just forget it .. xD..
I was seriously being crappy..

But yeah , sometimes, I do wish it happen but yknow,
it hurts you alot when that person is just faking .
SO , whatever .

Yeah , now, it's the real goodbye .

-sHd-

2009-04-21T17:37:00.002+08:00

20 April 09,

Telah terlalu lama
Aku memendam duka
Dan sudah terlalu lama
Aku rahsiakan cinta

Aku mahu kau tahu
Aku menyintaimu
Tapi aku takut
Aku akan melukai mu

Aku belum sedia
Untuk menerima mu
Kerna ku takut
Aku sepertinya

Aku tak mahu
Diri mu terluka lagi
Dan aku tak mahu
Mempermainkan cintamu

Maafkan aku
Sekiranya pernah
Melukai hatimu..

20 April 09,

Aku cuba untuk
Menggapai bintang
Yang entah bila
Akan dapat.
Aku cuba untuk
Mendapatkan dirimu
Yang entah bila
Akan sedar
AKU CINTA KAMU ..

Sayang,
Ku sememangnya
Tak mengerti
Diri mu
Dan memang benar
Aku tak mengerti
Perasaan Ini..

Kadang aku BENCI
Tapi hatiku RINDU
Kadang aku SAYANG
Tapi bukan diri mu.
Kadang diri mu
Di ingatan
Tapi hati ku
Rasa GELISAH
Aku tak tahu
Apa yang ku
Inginkan lagi.

Sayang,
Aku tak akan
Lukai diri mu lagi
Kerana yang terbaik
Buat kita adalah
PERPISAHAN.

Terima Kasih untuk kenangan
Yang telah kau berikan.

Aku tahu
Kau takkan bisa
Untuk memaafkan aku
Tapi apakah daya ku ?
Aku hanya
Seorang manusia
BIASA..

21 April 09,

Sayang,
Mengapa harus
Kau pergi
Di saat aku
Memerlukan diri mu ?
Mengapa harus kau
Tinggalkan ku
Tanpa sebarang
Kata putus ?
Kau menghilang
Tanpa bicara.
Aku terapung
Tanpa penjelasan
Ku pohon ampun
Sekiranya ku
Yang bersalah
Tapi seburuk-buruknya diri ku
Ku tak akan pernah
Mempermainkan hati mu ..
Inilah janji ku
Kepada mu
Ingatlah janji ini
Sampai kau mati
Kerana tak akan mungkin ku
Menerima kembali diri mu .

21 April 09,

Ku biarkan diri ku dibuai mimpi indah
Kerna ku tahu
Kehadiran diri mu
Hanya seketika
Ku biarkan diriku ditemani khayalan
Kerna ku tahu
Saat indah
Hanya sementara.
Ku biarkan semalam berlalu
Kerna ku ingin
Hidup tanpa diri mu.
Kau datang dan pergi
Begitu saja
Tanpa kenangan
Mahupun bicara.
Kau tinggalkan hanya duka
Yang tak sanggup lagi
Ku terima.
Kau pergi
Membawa kenangan bersama.
Kau biarkan aku lemas
Lemas dalam kebingungan keadaan.
Terima Kasih atas segalanya.
Kau takkan lagi
Ku simpan dalam hati ..

-sHd-

2009-04-20T21:33:00.002+08:00

Today, I'm busy all day. Yeah, thanks to me for delaying my hmwks . Okay, I'm being pathetically emotional today. Oh , okay. Since yesterday night .
I've wrote another two more 'poems' which is very emotional and stupid .
Hah .

Okeh, I don't have much time actually . So yeah .
Anw, to those who've read my previously last post, please keep IT shut !
Don't spread stupid rumours yeah ?

Okeh , yesa yesa yesa.
I've gotta go .

Loved & Nitez~
-sHd-

2009-04-19T22:33:00.002+08:00

Okeh , Idk how many times I update my blog today . I guess it's three, including this. Well, wrote this just now . Read and comments yehh ?

Sayang,
Aku tak mahu
Bertepuk sebelah tangan.
Aku juga tak mahu
Untuk melukai hatimu.
Namun maafkan aku
Kerna meninggalkan mu.

Setiap detik dalam hidup ku
Hanya namamu ku ingati selalu.
Setiap saat yang berlalu
Kau yang ku rindu.
Aku ingin kau tahu
Betapa sayangnya aku kepada mu
Mungkin sudah sering
Aku katakan
'Lupakanlah saja diri ku..'
Tapi jauh di lubuk hatiku
Tahukah engkau
Aku masih menyimpan sayang
Hanya untuk mu
Kerna cintaku terhadapmu
Tak bisa ku lupakan ..

Okay, I'm just being pathetically emotional today . LOL ! xD
Need to get some rest now.
Goodbye ~

Loved.
ps, APOLOGIES to those who're hurt with my words for today .
-sHd-

2009-04-19T17:42:00.002+08:00

Okehh .. This will be crap than crappy, if you know what I mean .. :D

12 April 09 ,

Malam ku kian
Tanpa berteman.
Langit terbentang
Tanpa bintang.
Mimpi ku kini
Tanpa diri mu.
Hari ku tinggal
Hanya kenangan.

Bayangan diri mu
Masih di ingatan.
Belaian kasih mu
Masih ada
Di hati ku.
Hangatan cinta mu
Tk bisa ku lenyapkan.
Begitulah agungnya
Cinta ku kepada mu .

Oh gosh, like I said before, it's coming out ! :D
Whatever.

Wrote that on 11 April but complete the whole thing on 12 . When I wrote that, I was totally sad cause I'm separated from the comp . LOL ! xD
So at 12.35 am, my family and I went to explore the neighbourhood in Malaysia. So I was looking outside the window and saw stars. Then I remember Spongebob. The episode where by he was forced to leave Krusty Krab and work with Plankton.

So yeah, my inspiration. :D
So while I was writing it down, I'm missing someone. Yeah, obsessed I guess. I was hoping that I could see him if I look up in the sky. Oh yeah, there's full bright moon too ! :D , prettyy... o_0
So , closing my eyes trying to imagine him .. LOL ! xD -kan dah kate, confirm obsessed nye ! :D

Playing with words, I got the first sentence. Walaa... ! New things are made ! :D
HAH! xD
So yeah, I typed it in my phone and saved it . :D

Reached home, in Malaysia, complete half of it and manage to complete the whole thing the next day . :D
Hah ... If at home, I would hide myself in the dark in the wardrobe in my room . :D With my Spongebob and the teddy bear I received as b'dae pressie as my company . :D Plus the teddy Wan gave me. Love it lots ! :D
Haha ! ...xD
K , cukop. I'm bored.

Why today there's not many people who wanna talk .. ? Rabakk sehh !
Sha, Nat, Acahh , Akmal, Kate, Howie, Grey & Wan tk online.. Sedih nahh ...
Weekends lagi ! -_-

Sigh .
Lagu semua cam nk mampoz gytoo .. lol!
K , enough .
Crapping won't make my life any better.

Goodbye ~
-sHd-

2009-04-19T01:13:00.002+08:00

Oh gosh, I can feel that the pathetic side of me is coming out . Hah, lol !
K ~

Well, can't sleep now . Somehow, I find it very hard to throw away the feeling . Yknow something, I've never expect to face this love shit thingy . Okeh, it's a lie if I say never, but I didn't . Especially to this guy whom I regard as bro . Sigh. Hard yknow !
Oh, whatever. -No offence yehh ?-
*Stop being pathetic lah budak !.. *
lol!

Okeh, I'm seriously looking forward to fall in love with FIE now ! :D
Hah.. FIE is someone I love since I was 11 years old ! :D So, yehh. But he never knew that I exist. How sad ... But whatever..

And yes, just chatted with my Geng Of Crapiness - GOF, or aka NaShAiYuRa (if you guys still remember this name) - heh . , k, aperh2 lah ehk the spelling is. Seriously, I'm too tired to laugh. In fact, I'm too tired to smile .. Just imagine, for few minutes, they make me laugh like some mad woman, k, all of us make each other laugh like mad.. Seriously .

Hah , k lah ehk. I've gotta go. Will be busy tomorrow.. So I'm not sure if I'm gonna online.
Since my ex-Hunney (chey, exist plak tuu ..lol!) didn't online now, I wanna sleep.
Mentang2 lah dier tuu dah 17, stepping arh ! -_-
Hah .. xD

K, I'm done~
Nitez~

Oh yehh , apart from my no 1 boyf, I love Bunkface and ZV-a7x too !
If you peeps were to asked me what I want for my b'dae present,
I would like to meet
MCR, BF, A7X, SP, LP, HM and many many many moree.. ! :D
Wohoo ..

~~But a kiss would be enough though ..~~ ;)
*Chey, aperh jerr ni bdk ! Mlm2 buta bobual mepek ! *

lol! k, now I'm done ~
Nitez!..
-sHd-

2009-04-18T15:21:00.002+08:00

Okay, somehow I think that MY previous post is really pathetic. LOL ! xD
Yeah, Apologies to you okay ?
Don't stress out, MYE is just around the corner.

And talking abt MYE, I haven't strted revising . xD I don't wanna fail this time. I wanna pass my math especially . Even if it's just 50 % , I'm fine with it ! :D
Well, can't sleep well last night. Feeling guilty that I've hurt someone .. Oh gosh, ate 4 panadols and dozed off ! :D
Whoaa.. .. xD

Hah, okay, enough crapping . I'm going out soon . I wanna go to lib and study . Anyone wanna join ? Just meet me there, will be there usually after 3.30pm at the 3 floor.
Alah .. Susah2, kol ajer ! :D

-sHd-

2009-04-17T12:30:00.002+08:00

HELLOH !~

Today kinda okay . Skipped school today for some reasons . Woke up early today at 8.55 am and complete my art homework and yeah, printer cam sual . Whatever.

Edit my pics with Keira and finally, I manage to complete all of the pictures ! :D
Will upload here some other time.

Plan to go gym with my bro but too bad, he's down with fever .. Buay btol ! -_-
Will be going out soon with my mom to print my art project stuff and some pictures.

Oh yes,
Cinta tak seharusnya dimiliki. Maafkan aku kerna meninggalkan mu .
I've made up my mind.

I'm putting this past behind me and never looking back again . Which also means that,
I'm sticking to single. Teenage life is meant to be a happy and relaxing one, not to be stressed out like this. && Also, I'm changing to the old me again . Plans are all inside my head. :D
So don't be ready to be surprised ! ..
*Hah.. Aper jerr..*

-sHd-

2009-04-16T15:06:00.003+08:00

Okay, you know what, I'm renewing everything around here.
I don't wanna talk about this whatever relationship and/or friendship problems again. It's between me and him.

Today for Sci lesson, we're studying on this sexual human system and EVERYONE is being horny. They make the food we eat to become 'dirty' .. & all that food is what I love to eat !~
-_-

You know, I kinda miss you . Who's that, don't ask cause I'll not answer . ;)
If you think it's you then it's you..

Today kinda okay. Just that I felt someone stares at me and it's like making me shiver. Yeah, I have this weird thing which is if someone is staring at me without me knowing it, I'll shiver, sudden memory block and headaches. Usually happens during recess time.. Whoever that person is, stop it please. My brain feels like exploding.

Oh yeah, I've just discovered that BunkFace sings nice songs ! You guys should check it out ! One of the coolest song is Bunk Anthem ! They're a Malaysian band, so they sing both Malay and English songs. But NEVER underestimate them ! Their English is very powerful ! If you want it, just tell me, I have the songs .. :D

Okay people, I know that I'm talking to myself. So goodbye~ Homework need to be completed.

-sHd-